God's Patient Grace

Below is a song that we sang in the Philippines (1991) after one semester study on Christian Character, which was one of the many subjects offered in The Berean Bible Institute. Being once a student and teacher of the same subject, this song is very meaningful to me up to this day. I tried searching for any tape or CD entitled "Grace" but to no avail.

God's Patient Grace

Not what I am
But what I shall be
When God's patient grace is finished in me
This is the hope that carries me on
Knowing someday the work will be done.

Chorus: God's patient grace working in me
Has changed me from what I used to be
God's patient grace working in me
Will make me someday in His image complete.

Closer each day the brighter it seems
As God's patient grace keeps working in me
Continuing on until I shall find
My Lord's will in me is totally mine.

God established a relationship with me when I was 17. My exposure to Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship and my church helped me to be grounded in God's Word. Through my university years, God moulded me, developed my talents, and used me in the many ministries that were available at that time.

After I graduated, I went to Iligan City, and worked at National Steel Corporation. Working in a secular world, feminism slowly crept into my heart. I was so focused on my career. I was determined and dedicated my time to work. Oftentimes, after I got married, I even brought work at home.

Having my weekdays filled with work, during weekends, I was active in the new church in which my husband was a member. I taught Sunday school, helped in the youth ministry and in other various ministries. I enrolled a few subjects in its Bible Institute. I was full of energy and enthusiasm as I involved myself. My reputation in church was "good". Nobody knew the issues of my heart.

When I was heavy with Kezah, God placed us in a difficult situation. At this time, we were living in a new area where there was no public transport. It would take 15 minutes walk till one can find one. As I walked, I started talking to God. My prayer would go like this : "Lord why am I experiencing all these? Why did You allow Ren to have psoriasis? Why did You choose him to suffer an illness that is incurable? Because of his illness, I am suffering too. O, Lord, I can't endure it anymore. I feel like the burden is too heavy for me to bear. And it seems like there is no end to this..." On and on I kept murmuring until I find transport.

It was only when I was in the class of Christian Character that I realized the extent of my bitterness towards God. I was full of self-pity and pride, causing my heart to harden. Instead of praying that God will heal my husband, I began asking God to change my heart. I asked Him to soften my heart, to make it willing to be taught.

Everytime I finished my lesson in Christian Character, I could feel my heart aching, I could feel His sword dig into my heart, convicting me of my filthiness. I knew that my attitude was horrible and was affecting every part of my life. My heart was deeply pierced. Tears always blurred my vision as I spent most times with God repenting of what I was inside.

When the semester was over, I gave my testimony in between sobs. I shared that it was by His grace that God brought me to the class. He exposed my heart, and gave me a new one.





I would like to dedicate this post to my best friend, my Davidette, my teacher/mentor whom God used mightily.

The Fear of the Lord

I trust that you are experiencing His presence today where ever you are and whatever you are doing. I am blessed to have my day-off today, and that means I have ample time to spend in my quiet time...

At the moment my studies move from Psalm to Proverbs and back and forth. I realize that I am always drawn to the phrase, " fear of the Lord..."

I read Psalm 25 today and it is refreshing to know that God reveals His secrets to those who fear Him.. Psalm 25:14 say " The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him, and He will make them know His covenant... And the verse before this , Psalm 25:12: "Who is the man who fears the Lord? He will instruct Him in the way he should choose."

How can I acquire knowledge? How can I acquire wisdom? How can I discern right from wrong? How can I have discretion, especially when I am in a counselling session? What questions should I ask to expose what's in the heart? How can I know my motives are pure?

Proverbs... is so mind-boggling... "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" Proverbs 1:7. But Proverbs 2: 4-5 says " If you seek her [wisdom] like silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures ; then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and discover the knowledge of God...

How can I join these two truths together? Reverential awe and admiring fear for God is the foundation for all spiritual knowledge and wisdom. My fear of the Lord will open my eyes to understanding, to knowledge, to wisdom...And as I seek for wisdom, it will lead me to study the Scriptures, then the more that I understand how to fear the Lord , and because I fear Him, He will instruct me, he will show His ways to me. He will reveal His secrets to me... and because I fear Him, I will listen to Him, I will not be a fool who does not want to be to be instructed. . I will obey Him... wisdom enters my heart.... I will have discernment of right and wrong, I will be filled with understanding, my choices will be pleasing before Him and therefore I glorify Him. And when I glorify Him, I am most satisfied... I am so blessed.. Yet there is still much to learn regarding the fear of the Lord.