Grace Upon Grace
Like the ocean and waves ever sweeping the shore
To His children come the grace of the Lord
And like a mighty sea so deep and so wide
His grace to us seems an endless supply.
Grace upon grace like the waves on the shore
Always enough, always more
Grace upon grace like the waves on the shore
All that we need is ours from the Lord.
In daylight or midnight, the waves touch the shore
One or another they faithfully pour
Summer or winter can never subside
and so the gracious Father provides.
To His children come the grace of the Lord
And like a mighty sea so deep and so wide
His grace to us seems an endless supply.
Grace upon grace like the waves on the shore
Always enough, always more
Grace upon grace like the waves on the shore
All that we need is ours from the Lord.
In daylight or midnight, the waves touch the shore
One or another they faithfully pour
Summer or winter can never subside
and so the gracious Father provides.
_____________________________________________________________________
Lately, I've been missing my son. I do not know if this is a symptom of hormonal changes in my body or what, but yes, my heart is grieving. Sometimes, I cry silently on my bed, thinking what would it be like if he were alive. Sometimes, I stare blankly in front of my monitor, with my mind occupied with thoughts of him. He is supposed to be 22 y.o. going on 23 y.o. now.
You may say, that's 22 years ago! Yes, I do agree, but why? Allow me to go back to 25 April, 1985. It may help me realize something. If you know my family well, you will notice that he had the same birthday as my beloved husband.
It took me more than 24 hours of labour before Aiden Tozer was born. I never heard him cry. The doctor said that he was blue and needed to be in the incubator. I've heard a lot of stories about babies born with such similar case that I did not worry. I asked God that He would give me the desire of my heart, and that was to retain him in my arms alive and be given the opportunity to raise a son, if this was His will. "Delight thyself unto the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)
I went inside the nursery, held his hand and talked to him for awhile. I observed his difficulty in breathing, and he jerked from time to time. I said to God, "though how painful your will is for me, I am willing to give him back into Your Hands. He would be better in Your hands. You will take care of Him much better than I would. Just let me understand Your Will and let me be satisfied with it."
I had peace after that. The next day, God took him.
I held him in my arms, hugged him so tight. Tears kept pouring, but I was not bitter towards God. I understood very well that His will for me was the best. If I wanted to delight Him, then I should be satisfied with His will.
I do not understand why I miss him so much, nowadays. But one thing is sure, His endless supply of grace is sustaining me. Oh God, fill my heart with Your presence until I am overwhelmed and content with just You alone...
Lately, I've been missing my son. I do not know if this is a symptom of hormonal changes in my body or what, but yes, my heart is grieving. Sometimes, I cry silently on my bed, thinking what would it be like if he were alive. Sometimes, I stare blankly in front of my monitor, with my mind occupied with thoughts of him. He is supposed to be 22 y.o. going on 23 y.o. now.
You may say, that's 22 years ago! Yes, I do agree, but why? Allow me to go back to 25 April, 1985. It may help me realize something. If you know my family well, you will notice that he had the same birthday as my beloved husband.
It took me more than 24 hours of labour before Aiden Tozer was born. I never heard him cry. The doctor said that he was blue and needed to be in the incubator. I've heard a lot of stories about babies born with such similar case that I did not worry. I asked God that He would give me the desire of my heart, and that was to retain him in my arms alive and be given the opportunity to raise a son, if this was His will. "Delight thyself unto the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)
I went inside the nursery, held his hand and talked to him for awhile. I observed his difficulty in breathing, and he jerked from time to time. I said to God, "though how painful your will is for me, I am willing to give him back into Your Hands. He would be better in Your hands. You will take care of Him much better than I would. Just let me understand Your Will and let me be satisfied with it."
I had peace after that. The next day, God took him.
I held him in my arms, hugged him so tight. Tears kept pouring, but I was not bitter towards God. I understood very well that His will for me was the best. If I wanted to delight Him, then I should be satisfied with His will.
I do not understand why I miss him so much, nowadays. But one thing is sure, His endless supply of grace is sustaining me. Oh God, fill my heart with Your presence until I am overwhelmed and content with just You alone...
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