Is It Worth All The Effort?

Last year, around February, we started a discipleship group I called "TitusIIWomen". We read and studied the book of Martha Peace entitled, "The Excellent Wife". One of the ladies in class was Christine, whom I perceived as sweet and shy young wife. She was a dedicated student, seldom absent in our sessions. She came almost to every meeting even when a few of her close friends were not there.

I am blessed by her candid honesty and her desire to grow more in His grace. It is so amazing to taste and see the goodness of God in her life. Below is her testimony. Hope you'll be blessed.

Christine's Testimony

I have been married for over 7 years now and before I started attending Ladies and study the series about “How to become an Excellent Wife” – I really haven’t given much thought about as to how I am doing as a wife. In fact, at the back of my mind, I probably would have thought that I was actually a very good wife – if not excellent! But as we went through the lessons, I have realized that I still have a lot of things to learn to become a very good wife and that I am quite far off to becoming an excellent wife.

Before, I have no concise definition of my role as a wife to my husband. I just know that I have to be a good wife and that it is the right thing to do. In Genesis 2:18, it says “The Lord God said,”It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”. I have learned that it is God’s will for me to become a helper suitable to my husband and that it is in fact a ministry that He has planned for me. My ministry as a wife can grow under the nurturing hand of a faithful and loving God because : His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and Excellence. Then that gave me more than enough reason and encouragement to to be responsible in learning to put my my confidence in God and HIS Word and that is to do what He says to become an excellent wife. However, I also learned that in my journey towards becoming an excellent wife there comes the problem of sin.

As you may or may not know yet, I have been blessed with a very loving, patient and understanding husband. God gave me a very patient husband because He knows that I am an impatient wife. Anyway, even though my husband is very patient, there were still a few times when he will loose his cool and speak in a tone that is a bit higher than normal. I, in turn, the impatient wife that I am and not being used to seeing him like that would retaliate on impulse without thinking first. And I tell you, it will be in a tone that is way higher than normal. It is so hard to control my tongue and my temper at times but I realized that it is possible to get rid of this sin by His Amazing Grace and by the aid of the Holy Spirit. When I am tempted to sin like this, the Holy Spirit reminds me to put off my “old self”, and then put on my “new self”. He reminds me of the verse in Psalm 141:3 that says “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips”. With God’s Amazing Grace it is possible to do so. But then again, there will still be times when I fall into trap and therefore unable to control my tongue and my temper. 1Timothy 4:7 says: discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness” in other words, I have to exercise or train myself until I get it right. I have to pray to God constantly that He will guard my tongue and keep me from speaking evil. I have to choose to do the right thing over and over again until it becomes automatic for me to respond in a loving way. And as I keep working at it , the Holy Spirit supernaturally enables me. It will take time to get rid of bad habit but nothing is impossible with God.

I know I come across to most people as a quiet and a serious person but those who are really, really close to me can attest to the fact that I am actually not that quiet and serious especially my husband. There are times when I argue or pout or even give him the cold shoulder when I do not get my own way. But in Proverbs 21:9, it says “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife” Now, I wouldn’t want my husband to think that way, yeah?

Before I started attending Ladies, I sometimes do things that I thought were just normal. I was unaware that I was sinfully manipulating him to get my own way. But in Titus 2:4-5 it goes “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children; to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” I have learned that if I ask something from my husband and he said no, then it is my responsibility to graciously take ‘no’ for an answer and not hold it against him. I have learned that as a Christian wife, I have to constantly be reminded to “put on” my new self ( as I mentioned earlier). It means that my conduct should match my faith. Because I am a Christian wife, I should act like one. To be a Christian wife means more than just making good resolutions and having good intentions, it means taking the right actions.

Lastly, I am a self-confessed worrier person. I sometimes worry about the decisions he makes or the decisions that he does not make straightaway. Sometimes there are issues that can not be resolved easily and I will be very anxious for him to make a decision straight away – not just a simple decision he has to make – it should be a decision that I am wanting to hear. If not, then here comes the problem of manipulation again. But Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

In closing, I just want to encourage all the wives and wives- to -be by sharing toyou Proverbs 31:10-12 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing in value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” They say one cannot find this woman at all and as I examine myself, I am still a long way off in my journey to becoming an excellent wife. But knowing that the Holy Spirit enables me, and that His power granted me everything unto godliness, plus His grace is always available, and that this is God’s will for me then it is more than enough to sustain me throughout my journey of becoming an excellent wife. I hope and pray that you will consider to join us young , single, married and old to study and encourage one another to become aTitus2Woman.. Thank you.